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Happy Father's Day.

Happy day to all daddies.

This year is very special to us because is the first year we had with Antonio. Be the first of many we will celebrate with our little boy.

A kiss to all and you'll have a very special day with your little ones.

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11-M. A memory. Nostalgic

Madrid Today has dawned with a shade of sadness. The memory of a terrible attack in the air fleet.

This morning when I've ridden on the train to come to work I noticed a quieter environment. Surely have been my imagination, but I've felt that way.

remember that morning five years ago: Juan yet had not come to live with me and that day I had been sleeping with my parents. I had the habit to set the alarm at 7 and a half and turned on the radio. I loved waking up because you'd go well listening to the news of the day. Stretching was still in bed when they began to get the first news. The first thing I heard was that a bomb had exploded at Atocha and knew not what had happened. That news was like a spring to me: "Dew." My sister every day catching the train at that hour, at seven he took the train from Fuenlabrada and the seven and a half to transfer to Chamartin. With the stomach closed I went to room of my mother: "Mom Rocío what time gone? has exploded a bomb where she takes the train" and then reassured me: "quiet today there is a strike at the university and she has not gone, sleeping in his room "quickly went to his room and there could more than hold her.

For a moment I thought the worst, even without knowing the enormous impact it would have, because at that hour of the morning was not yet known how terrible it would be, but for several years had been a user of the station and knew the number of people who had at that time and sensed what might have happened.

Throughout the morning we had the radio on and we were hearing how the figures were increasing. With the passing of the hours were going to have news of neighbors, cousins, friends and acquaintances who had someone close to affected or even killed. Many, many residents of Fuenlabrada who daily travel to their daily work by train.

a selfish point arises in my soul these days because fortunately I was not one of them and so every year I have a special thought for all those people because deep down we could have been any one of them.

A fond memories and a hug with all my love for all families because even to this day have a place in his heart, these days are especially hard.

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.......

is irremediable. I've tried and I can not help it.

should not, but I comes to mind.

Without meaning to, without looking, does not leave my head.

is that I can not forget that a March 11 I discovered that our dream, that this miracle achieved after so much time fighting had ceased to exist.

I can not help thinking about those days before the fatal news, that figured excited and made plans with that little angel. It was now nine weeks pregnant and just this week we decided to comment to the closest and fate of life just two or three days after we had just the opposite.

I can not remember that first ultrasound where we saw him beat with such force that it made me mourn and then I remember with a pinch in my stomach that when the gynecologist told me "no heartbeat, it has stopped. " So many broken dreams and illusions ....

These days I can not help it: I am overcome by nostalgia, a point of sadness takes over my soul thinking I saw that little heart beating so hard and then stopped. Why would I?, What would happen? Unanswered questions that do nothing but hurt me. Today when I looked at Antonio not been able to avoid more questions come to mind: what would have been?, How everything would have been if he had come to the end?

had to be, this little sweetheart had to stop living to be day to day with Antonio. If I had to be so for now I can have my treasure in my arms, to enjoy and enjoy every day of his smile, his touch, his mischievous eyes ,.... It had to be more so when you can tell that his side has an angel that will protect and guide throughout his life.

Despite having to Antonio with me, I can not help for a couple of days I have a pinch in my stomach remembering all those bad moments.

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The art of giving advice ............

For if for everything in life it also must have a certain art.

Anyone can afford to give you advice without having asked nisiquera even without having shown signs of needing it and yet you give it and sometimes not the most appropriate way.

need know the time in which a person needs it because otherwise you may even be able to do damage with those "well meaning" advice.

In recent weeks I filled my bag unsolicited advice yet received on various topics related to Antonio. In order to thank is not that the advice is not to be the wisest person in the world that never needs advice, not that it is an arrogant and not using them, but there are issues on which no bad intention can be upsetting people who get an opinion.

These are the tips received lately:

Right out of the room ..... Antonio has

and eight months and when at certain times I say that still sleeps with us is as if he had spoken in Chinese, "even sleep with him," my mother, it will cost you a win out of the room, "is too old to continue sleeping with you, "when you want it going to have many problems "..... these and many more beads I've been listening every day and that not too many times when he wakes up at night to take and leave it sleeping with us in bed .......

is true that we have some time thinking through what the best time to take him to his room, but the truth to me I did not want anything because I love waking up at night and hear their noises while sleeping or listening to your breathing right next to my bed. I also

is much more comfortable when asked at night, take it from the bed to keep me up to another room to breastfeed. However

this past week have been a little resfriadillos and at night with coughing woke him and this weekend we have gone to her room to see if he rested better and Ohhhhhhhhhh catastrophic surprise all those predictions have not been met for nothing. Wears and three nights sleeping alone and has stayed at a stretch, is more in the morning when he wakes up he is amazed at the pictures your dad was in the room and with a smile from ear to ear when we appear at his side.

breastfeed ......

I can not even imagine the comments that come up when I comment that "even" I give the chest to Antonio, "but why not leave it and if it is too old," it will continue even with this heavy, "and you're not tired ",.... and many, many, many more comments of all kinds.

And the truth is sometimes so much to hear over and over again the same, I am tempted to leave but when I look like from game to game Antonio is looking to take a sip of milk or when he looks with his little eyes and that half-smile when nursing or when you see it as it is stayed attached to the breast after the last shot before putting it in its cradle or when you get the comfort you are looking at that particular time you're crying, so I think for those reasons and for the benefit it is providing will continue until he decides quit. But as I stop breast-Antonio is a great gift if you do day to day as well when I see how she enjoys when it is in my lap ........ in short, that does not seem right. Also think of those mothers who could not do it for health reasons, because nature has not allowed or because they have not been able to reconcile with his return to work and I would have liked and I leave that I can do, I think very selfish of me part.

will not know why but having a child is given to everyone you advice about what is good or bad you are doing, what you should not do with food, with the games, with sleep. ..... My like to investigate, search, and above all they ask and I like talking to moms who are ahead of me on what they have done or left undone on various topics, that have done, what they have Last but like everything else over the years you learn who is a good "counselor" who in his mind to help desayuda. "